fun

Teacher: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me.
Teacher: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born!

معلم: پدرت چند سالشه؟

پسر بچه: همسن خودم.

معلم: چطور چنين چيزی ممکنه؟

پسر: همينکه من به دنيا اومدم، اون هم پدر شد!

 

Teacher: Kumar, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Kumar: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

 

معلم: کومار، انشائی که درباره "سگ من" نوشتی دقيقا مثل انشاء برادرته. از روی اون نوشتی؟

کومار: نه آقا، هر دو درباره يک سگ نوشتيم!

 

Girl: "Mum, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school."
Mother: "That's nice of her to take such an interest. What did she say when you told her you are the only child?"
Girl: "She just said, 'Thank goodness!'"

 

دختربچه: مامان، معلممون امروز ازم پرسيد خواهر يا برادر ديگه ای ندارم که بخواد مدرسه بياد.

مادر: معلوم ميشه خيلی مهربونه که همچين علاقه ای نشون ميده. خب وقتی بهش گفتی تنها بچه ما هستی، چی گفت؟

دختر: فقط گفت: «خدا رو شکر!»

 

Teacher: "How come you do not comb your hair?"
Student: "No comb, Sir."
Teacher: "Use your dad's then."
Student: "No hair, Sir."

 

معلم: تو چرا هيچوقت موهات رو شونه نميکنی؟

شاگرد: شونه ندارم، آقا.

مغلم: خوب از شونه پدرت استفاده کن.

شاگرد: مو نداره، آقا!

 

Teacher: Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student: A cow and a bull is grazing in the field
Teacher: How?
Student: Ladies first.

 

معلم: اين جمله را درست کن: «گاو نر و گاو ماده در حال چريدن در مرتع است.»

شاگرد: گاو ماده و گاو نر در حال چريدن در مرتع است.

معلم: چطور؟

شاگرد: خانمها مقدمند!

 

TEACHER: John, go to the map and find North America.
John: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: John!

 

معلم: جان، برو روی نقشه، آمريکای شمالی رو پيدا کن.

جان: اينجاست!

معلم: درسته! بچه ها، حالا شما بگيد چه کسی آمريکا رو کشف کرد؟

بچه ها: جان!

 

TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
John: "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"

 

معلم: جرج واشينگتون نه تنها درخت گيلاس پدرش رو قطع کرد، بلکه به اين کار اعتراف هم کرد. حالا، کسی ميدونه که چرا پدرش اون رو تنبيه نکرد؟

جان: چون تبر هنوز توی دستش بود؟!

 

TEACHER: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
John: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that at home.

 

معلم: عجب جورابهای عجيب و غريبی پوشيدی! يکيش سبزه، يکی هم آبی با خالهای قرمز!

جان: بله، واقعا خيلی عجيبه. يک جفت هم دقيقا مثل همينها توی خونه دارم!

 

TEACHER: Now, John, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
John: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

 

معلم: خوب، جان، صادقانه بگو، قبل از غذا خوردن دعا ميکنی؟

جان: نه آقا، لازم نيست، مامانم آشپز خوبيه!

 

TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

John: A Teacher.

 

معلم: به کسيکه ميبينه ديگران علاقه ای به حرفاش ندارن ولی باز هم حرف ميزنه، چی ميگن؟

جان: معلم!!!

fun

_{^{Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.}}

_{^{The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?"}}

_{^{One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."}}

_{^{"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."}}

_{^{The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.}}

 

 

_{^{A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
teacher: What are you waiting for?
student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!}}

---

_{^{Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.}}

---

_{^{Customer: Excuse me, but I saw your thumb in my soup when you were carrying it.
Waitress: Oh, that's okay. The soup isn't hot.}}

---

_{^{The teacher to a student: Conjugate the verb "to walk" in simple present.
The student: I walk. You walk ....
The teacher intruptes him: Quicker please.
The student: I run. You run ...}}

_{^{A: Why are all those people running?
B: They are running a race to get a cup.
A: Who will get the cup?
B: The person who wins.
A: Then why are all the others running?}}

_{^{Teacher: Did you father help you with your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.}}

---

_{^{In a restaurant:}}

_{^{Customer: Waiter, waiter! There is a frog in my soup!!!
Waiter: Sorry, sir. The fly is on vacation.}}

 

 

_{^{An elementary school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school.}}

_{^{"If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I will promise not to believe everything your child says happens at home.}}

 

---

_{^{Two factory workers are talking.
The  first man says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The second man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The first man says, "Just wait and see." He then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.}}

_{^{The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The firstman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow him and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."}}

mike was a small boy,and he hated soap and water.

three or four times every day his mother said to him "mike your hands are very dirty

again.go and wash them "but mike never really

washed them well he only put his hands in the water for a few seconds and then took them out again

mik's uncle and aunt lived in another city

one day they come to stay with mike's parents ,and they brought

their smal son.ted with them . ted was a year younger than mike ,and he didn't like soap and water ,either.

the boys set with their parents for a few minutes , but then

they went outside when they were alone , mike looked at ted 's hands are dirtier then yours!"

"of course they are ,"ted answered angrily. "you're a year older than i am."